I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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