Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
