I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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