booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
God I need to hump something, right now.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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