Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
