I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize