you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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