Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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