bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
