the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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