what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
