she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am one with the molecules
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize