someone get that fucking seahorse.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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