i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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