So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
