The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They took my balls.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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