Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
