Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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