East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
