she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your penis caused this!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
