I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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