i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I wear drunk well.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
