READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
