I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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