He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
A+ Viking dick
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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