God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize