She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
