OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
