So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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