hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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