please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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