i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
