i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
