i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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