you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
