No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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