rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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