I got chris browned last night
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Randomize
