That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
