Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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