i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
