He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Drunk is not a location!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
