we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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