You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
