Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
