i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
