is wine microwaveable?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
