Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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