Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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