She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
