you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize