did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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