We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
