oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
