you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
