just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
