you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
