i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
