hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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