shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
