forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
