I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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