im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Randomize
