Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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