he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i need some magic done to my vagina
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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