I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
