Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
