That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
